My Experience With Anxiety And Depression In High School

Prom is meant to be one of the biggest events of your life. For many young people, however, it can be difficult to get excited when you are battling anxiety and depression near the big event. I felt this struggle myself, and although I did attend, it certainly wasn’t my ideal experience.

My life outside of school was a strong contributor to my anxiety and depression near prom

Before grade 12, I was always a nervous person, but I seemed to manage myself just fine. Everything seemed to be changing so drastically once my final year of high school rolled around. I suddenly had a lot more trouble coping with my anxiety, along with the scary new addition of depression.

I’d just moved to a new home, and even though it was only a few minutes out of town and I was still attending the same high school, the change was enough to shake me up. About a month later, life got even crazier as my parents’ arguments got a little more heated than usual. There were talks of divorce, moving again, and changing schools, but I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. Hiding my feelings caused a lot of pain.

The regular stresses of Grade 12 didn’t help my anxiety and depression near prom either

There is a lot of pressure on Grade 12 students to know what they’re going to do and who they’re going to be. I had no answers to these questions, but I rushed to choose a university and a program I thought I’d do okay in. I then pushed myself to keep my average above 90 per cent as this would allow me to have my first years’ tuition completely covered.

By the time prom season began, I was completely exhausted and terrified. I gained more than 40 pounds over the year due to my mental health issues, which only added to my anxiety and depression. I was also hiding my newly-developed panic attacks from almost everyone. I didn’t even start searching for a prom dress until about two months before that actual day because I feared I would gain more weight and it wouldn’t fit if I bought it too early. When I finally began my search, there weren’t many options in my price range left and I had to settle on a dress.

In the end, I’m glad I didn’t let my anxiety and depression stop me from going to prom

As the big night approached, my anxiety grew. What if I looked stupid? What if I had a panic attack in front of everyone? I considered staying home, but then I felt everyone would notice something was wrong if I didn’t show up, so I went anyway.

It ended up being a lot of fun. I sat with my friends and I had a blast dancing with them. My current boyfriend also did his best to make sure I had a good time. I still felt like I should’ve gone home and went to bed at certain times, but prom wasn’t as bad as I had made it out to be in my head. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a nice distraction from my issues at the time, and I’m happy to have made a few good memories to end the school year in a more positive way.

Written by: Kristal McLean

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